ITT: Fucked up Sex Stories. - Page 5

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 04:19 PM

yeah, ive noticed that shit too. windows is getting weirdo nowadays

RE3 · 12-14-2008, 04:20 PM

Any ladies have some stories they want to share?

Are there even any girls that still post here? lol

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 04:22 PM

nope, theyre all whores

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RE3

Any ladies have some stories they want to share?

Are there even any girls that still post here? lol

Crissy ran away
Casey(that her name?) only sticks to that one thread
Necrofactisfrsgnsdf is so often
dipshit is gone
there was that one chick, sn started with an s or something
parabola and b1ll never post anymore

12-14-2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strychnine1349

Crissy ran away

Haha her internet just took a massive hit, she still posts occasionally.

RE3 · 12-14-2008, 04:25 PM

parabola's gone? hm I wouldn't have expected him to post in this thread anyways

lawllll

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 04:29 PM

crissy never poasts. she started that thread and left. i say good riddance. she reminds me of kurt cobain now, maybe she should complete the ritual after being famous.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RE3

parabola's gone? hm I wouldn't have expected him to post in this thread anyways

lawllll

lol, he posts maybe once every 2 months, though no one will comment about his post...positively atleast

not wanted · 12-14-2008, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strychnine1349

Crissy ran away
Casey(that her name?) only sticks to that one thread
Necrofactisfrsgnsdf is so often
dipshit is gone
there was that one chick, sn started with an s or something
parabola and b1ll never post anymore

I'll share one of my escapades for you.

I was out surfing and decided to try to pick up a chick to go back to her hotel room with. There was this one girl who was hanging out watching the surfers so I decided to talk to her. This girl had it all; tan, boobs, ass and a face to kill for. So we started talking and a few sentences later I was in her hotel room.

We start going at it and this girl was amazing; she definitely knew what she was doing. We flip around and change positions a few times, and one time I noticed a bunch of cards on the table next to the bed that said "Happy Birthday" on it.

I ask her in the heat of things "Is it your birthday?" (sexy, I know)

She says "Yeah, I just turned 14."

No sooner did she say that did her parents walk in the door. Luckily she was staying in a suite on the first floor of the hotel so they had to walk down a hallway to get to where we were. Her bedroom had a sliding glass door that led out to the beach so I grabbed my shorts and ran out the door throwing on my shorts as I ran, only to hear "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" coming from what I would assume was her dad's voice.

He ran outside and saw me, but I was running too damn quick for him to catch me. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

And that's why I love picking up girls at the beach. Because I never know what will happen.

12-14-2008, 04:40 PM

Didn't happen.

not wanted · 12-14-2008, 04:41 PM

That's why I never share any stories. Because you guys will never believe me lol

12-14-2008, 04:41 PM

Did happen?

not wanted · 12-14-2008, 04:42 PM

Did. I'm pretty sure that's the first sex story I've shared on here. That's one thing I keep to myself for the most part.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 04:43 PM

Or because you got caught telling fake stories.

not wanted · 12-14-2008, 04:44 PM

Those were stories that I didn't write lol. I wrote that because it happened

RE3 · 12-14-2008, 04:48 PM

pic or it didnt happen

12-14-2008, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RE3

cp or it didnt happen

Down, boy.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 05:01 PM

Element of xOne · 12-14-2008, 07:03 PM

not mine, but the best one i know is that my buddy was drunk thought he was gonna finish, but he actually had to piss, so he ended up pissing inside his girlfriend...while she was on her period

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 07:05 PM

Stinky.

motherfuck · 12-14-2008, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Element of xOne

not mine, but the best one i know is that my buddy was drunk thought he was gonna finish, but he actually had to piss, so he ended up pissing inside his girlfriend...while she was on her period

Thats impossible

Element of xOne · 12-14-2008, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by motherfuck

Thats impossible

yeah i took highschool bio as well, but it's not impossible, if you're drunk enough it could just be like pissing with wood, but you just think you're gonna finish

The Midnight Rider · 12-14-2008, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ssanaside

I was a bit curious as to why my cock was covered in blood and chunks and smelled like an animal crawled into the engine of my car, she blushed, admitted she was on her period and said, "I didnt think you would mind".

wait...there's chunks involved?

imgodworshipme · 12-14-2008, 07:36 PM

I fucked a porn star once.... She was all loose and it was probably the worst sex ever.

ssanaside · 12-14-2008, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Midnight Rider

wait...there's chunks involved?

there can be like, tissue and shit. Its nasty. Its not just blood.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 08:07 PM

Ewww....

Anti-Aldo · 12-14-2008, 08:51 PM

Only awkward sex story I have was the time a girl pissed my bed after I tore that shit up. I woke up, didnt want to make a scene with her, so I went to sleep on the couch in the living room. She woke up, freaked out, locked me out of my room, tried to soak it up with towels. Then she walked out, and left so fast she forgot her phone and shoes. I saw her out the window when she was leaving, she walked home barefoot.

ssanaside · 12-14-2008, 10:43 PM

my favorite story is my friend. We call him the General for a bunch of stupid reasons, and one night he drank a bit more than he probably should have and wound up in bed with this chick. They did the deed and both passed out naked. He woke up at maybe 4 am to find that he shat himself. And I mean, really fucking shat himself. It was all over the bed and totally plastered around his ass. His response to this however, was to roll the girl into the shit, and sneak out before she woke up. The next day he told all of us that he woke up to find she shat the bed. For 2 years everyone knew this chick as the girl who will shit on you if you sleep with her. Worst is, she was so embarrassed at her "accident" that she never spoke to any of us again. It wasnt until years later that he confessed to us that it was actually him, and sadly, to this date, the girl has no idea what actually happened.

12-14-2008, 10:46 PM

lol that's harsh.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 10:52 PM

Lawwwwwwl

12-14-2008, 05:01 PM	#138
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 18	Nice

12-14-2008, 08:51 PM	#147
Anti-Aldo loves you Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: KansASS Posts: 9,677 Rep Power: 19	Only awkward sex story I have was the time a girl pissed my bed after I tore that shit up. I woke up, didnt want to make a scene with her, so I went to sleep on the couch in the living room. She woke up, freaked out, locked me out of my room, tried to soak it up with towels. Then she walked out, and left so fast she forgot her phone and shoes. I saw her out the window when she was leaving, she walked home barefoot. Last edited by Anti-Aldo; 12-14-2008 at 08:53 PM..

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12-14-2008, 04:19 PM	#121
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	yeah, ive noticed that shit too. windows is getting weirdo nowadays

12-14-2008, 04:20 PM	#122
RE3 Moderator :3 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 21,860 Rep Power: 30	Any ladies have some stories they want to share? Are there even any girls that still post here? lol

12-14-2008, 04:22 PM	#123
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	nope, theyre all whores

12-14-2008, 04:25 PM	#126
RE3 Moderator :3 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 21,860 Rep Power: 30	parabola's gone? hm I wouldn't have expected him to post in this thread anyways lawllll

12-14-2008, 04:29 PM	#127
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	crissy never poasts. she started that thread and left. i say good riddance. she reminds me of kurt cobain now, maybe she should complete the ritual after being famous.

12-14-2008, 04:40 PM	#130
Legendary Guest Guest Posts: n/a	Didn't happen.

12-14-2008, 04:41 PM	#131
not wanted Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 33 Rep Power: 0	That's why I never share any stories. Because you guys will never believe me lol

12-14-2008, 04:41 PM	#132
Legendary Guest Guest Posts: n/a	Did happen?

12-14-2008, 04:42 PM	#133
not wanted Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 33 Rep Power: 0	Did. I'm pretty sure that's the first sex story I've shared on here. That's one thing I keep to myself for the most part.

12-14-2008, 04:43 PM	#134
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 18	Or because you got caught telling fake stories.

12-14-2008, 04:44 PM	#135
not wanted Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 33 Rep Power: 0	Those were stories that I didn't write lol. I wrote that because it happened

12-14-2008, 04:48 PM	#136
RE3 Moderator :3 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 21,860 Rep Power: 30	pic or it didnt happen

12-14-2008, 07:03 PM	#139
Element of xOne C.R.E.A.M. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: New Yawk Posts: 9,247 Rep Power: 19	not mine, but the best one i know is that my buddy was drunk thought he was gonna finish, but he actually had to piss, so he ended up pissing inside his girlfriend...while she was on her period

12-14-2008, 07:05 PM	#140
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 18	Stinky.

12-14-2008, 07:36 PM	#144
imgodworshipme Banned Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: West Orange New Jersey Posts: 21,097 Rep Power: 0	I fucked a porn star once.... She was all loose and it was probably the worst sex ever.

12-14-2008, 08:07 PM	#146
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 18	Ewww....

12-14-2008, 10:43 PM	#148
ssanaside Keeper of the Tit Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Concord, MA Posts: 10,608 Rep Power: 20	my favorite story is my friend. We call him the General for a bunch of stupid reasons, and one night he drank a bit more than he probably should have and wound up in bed with this chick. They did the deed and both passed out naked. He woke up at maybe 4 am to find that he shat himself. And I mean, really fucking shat himself. It was all over the bed and totally plastered around his ass. His response to this however, was to roll the girl into the shit, and sneak out before she woke up. The next day he told all of us that he woke up to find she shat the bed. For 2 years everyone knew this chick as the girl who will shit on you if you sleep with her. Worst is, she was so embarrassed at her "accident" that she never spoke to any of us again. It wasnt until years later that he confessed to us that it was actually him, and sadly, to this date, the girl has no idea what actually happened.

12-14-2008, 10:46 PM	#149
Legendary Guest Guest Posts: n/a	lol that's harsh.

12-14-2008, 10:52 PM	#150
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 18	Lawwwwwwl