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Old 12-14-2008, 01:54 PM   #61
Kill The Scene
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I've never been able to fart around girlfriends, hell I even have a complex when I have to drop a deuce in my woman's presence.
Yeah I'm afraid to shit in a girls house cause I fear it'll turn into one of those power struggle shits, and I'll be in there forever. =[
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Old 12-14-2008, 01:55 PM   #62
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l
I fuuuuuucking hate that smell. Girls are fucking foul. >:[
I scrubbed my cock raw that night in the shower. Very unladylike.
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Old 12-14-2008, 01:57 PM   #63
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I've never been able to fart around girlfriends, hell I even have a complex when I have to drop a deuce in my woman's presence.
haha, I definitely cant poop around chicks, which makes for really painful vacations or long visits. Though I have been known to pass silent farts and blame them on her.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:04 PM   #64
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You know the farts that you think you could pull off that if you squeeze it out just right, theres no noise and perhaps wont smell?


It's very risky business...
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:05 PM   #65
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Those are bad. You know whats worse? A shart. You push just a LITTLE too hard..and bam. Need new boxers.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:06 PM   #66
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I had that happen to me for a whole week...actually I was shitting the whole week and I was deathly afraid of trying to fart.

Making out and holding a potential shart in...sucks.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:09 PM   #67
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You guys ever wait until right after you know a girl farted, just so you can rip a silent one and pin it on them?

Sometimes if I worry it may make noise, Ill deliberately drop something, skooch my chair up or do something loud to cover up for the toot.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:09 PM   #68
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i was very sick 4-5 years ago, everything I ate or drank was turning to diarrhea instantly. I farted and shit my pants. TWICE IN ONE WEEK. There is nothing quite as dehumanizing as shitting your pants when you are in your 20's.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:23 PM   #69
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I hear ya. Last week I fell deadly ill, well, more of a 24 hour virus thing, but, I was throwing up and shitting pretty much water out of my ass for about 12 hours straight. I felt like a girl sitting down to piss when I had that diarrhea. But at one point I actually vomited and shit my pants at the same time. That never happened to me before and I hope it never will again.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:26 PM   #70
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I can't believe you guys are afraid to fart/shit in front of you're women. The first month or so I am too, but after that, I let em fly. If I drop a nice looking log in the shitter, I have to show her my accomplishment.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:31 PM   #71
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I hear ya. Last week I fell deadly ill, well, more of a 24 hour virus thing, but, I was throwing up and shitting pretty much water out of my ass for about 12 hours straight. I felt like a girl sitting down to piss when I had that diarrhea. But at one point I actually vomited and shit my pants at the same time. That never happened to me before and I hope it never will again.
Sounds pretty nice. Just shit and puke, during that, fall on your face in your own puke and just pass out with a load of mud in your pants seeping everywhere and lying in a puddle of your own puke, that's sexy.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:32 PM   #72
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i was very sick 4-5 years ago, everything I ate or drank was turning to diarrhea instantly. I farted and shit my pants. TWICE IN ONE WEEK. There is nothing quite as dehumanizing as shitting your pants when you are in your 20's.
that shit happened to me a while back when i was in HS. took my gf home cuz i had a feeling something was gonna happen to her if i didnt go. turns out when we left, 3 gangbangers and a chick walked past us and were lookin at her, so i looked back and im bigger than these fucks. so they ran back to me and one was actin like he was pullin out his gun which he didnt have. his 2 buddies socked me in the back of the head which never hurted cuz i laughed at them and the one guy had to jump to reach my face. ill give him credit, he had a good hit but yeah, shat diarrhea for 2 weeks. like i wasted a whole roll in two hours. i got sick from it but whatevs.


back to the main point, i cant shit when my girls around. so when shes stays for a day or 3, i have to hold it in because when i need to shit, i wanna fart my ass off, make noise and pass my fuckin log out and walk away 5 pounds lighter.

as far as sex stories- i basically choke the bitch, smack her on the ass until my hand marks are fully shown and red. snag her hair back and one time, cuz i was in the mood for being funny and an ass, i i was gettin head and when i came, I made the same sound the street fighter characters make when they get beat. that "OOOOOOHHHH OHWA OWHA OWHA" sound. i got punched in the stomach but i loved it. im plannin a donkey punch in the future.

Last edited by Blackmetal_virus; 12-14-2008 at 02:35 PM..
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:35 PM   #73
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You cats need to get down with the midnight turding, just as the girl has gone to bed you wake your ass up and just go do your business.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:37 PM   #74
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but then they wake up and they wanna mess around. how can you mess around when you just shat and wiped your ass? what if she wants to finger you or rub your ass?
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:37 PM   #75
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Sometimes I say I'm gonna take a piss, and once I get in I just rush and squeeze it out like a mother fucker real quick.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:39 PM   #76
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but then they wake up and they wanna mess around. how can you mess around when you just shat and wiped your ass? what if she wants to finger you or rub your ass?
Once I go to sleep I like to sleep, sleep > sex.

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what if she wants to finger you or rub your ass?
Then she is getting a fist to the mouth.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:39 PM   #77
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but then they wake up and they wanna mess around. how can you mess around when you just shat and wiped your ass? what if she wants to finger you or rub your ass?
After my last experience, I rip that girls hand away any time a hand goes anywhere near my ass(w/out clothing that is).
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:41 PM   #78
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Then she is getting a fist to the mouth.
LOL
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:43 PM   #79
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sleep > sex.

i do too but when you have the oppurtunity to get fucked and cum, it HELPS you to sleep.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:44 PM   #80
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After my last experience, I rip that girls hand away any time a hand goes anywhere near my ass(w/out clothing that is).
sounds like you need baby wipes.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:44 PM   #81
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sounds like you need baby wipes.
Did you hear the story? haha
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:45 PM   #82
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i do too but when you have the oppurtunity to get fucked and cum, it HELPS you to sleep.
Your Mexican reasoning makes no sense to me.

I like sex before bed, I like to sleep 25 hours, and then wake up to some nice pussy. Anything more than that is overkill and makes Daddy cranky,
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:55 PM   #83
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Your Mexican reasoning makes no sense to me.

I like sex before bed, I like to sleep 25 hours, and then wake up to some nice pussy. Anything more than that is overkill and makes Daddy cranky,
well then, i think it is well known i am a sex machine and you are lazier than niggers.
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:55 PM   #84
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sounds like you need baby wipes.
http://www.smnnews.com/board/showthr...=186147&page=2


Howww did you miss that?
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Old 12-14-2008, 02:57 PM   #85
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well then, i think it is well known i am a sex machine and you are lazier than niggers.
It's easy to be a sex machine when the women you fuck still operate on steam.
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Old 12-14-2008, 03:10 PM   #86
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LOL how the fuck did i miss that? i mustve been gone somewhere.
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Old 12-14-2008, 03:11 PM   #87
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Picture necessary for thread.
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Old 12-14-2008, 03:24 PM   #88
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lol well hello there sexy
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Old 12-14-2008, 03:25 PM   #89
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Think this thread is turning epic.
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Old 12-14-2008, 03:27 PM   #90
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EPIC RUPAUL VOGUE PIC THREAD TIME NAO
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