ITT: Fucked up Sex Stories.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 12:19 AM

You all(except shawn) have them.

Go.

SOR_Joop · 12-14-2008, 01:12 AM

Not exactly a sex story, but I think it qualifies as fucked up. A couple years ago, I was kissing my girlfriend at the time and I straight up belched in her mouth. Good times.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 01:16 AM

Everyone remembers the blowjob/finger story.

Though one night I was getting roadhead, and right at the climax I drove through a stop sign and slammed on the breaks, almost drove into a 8 foot ditch.

During this Calculating Infinity was playing, a very very heart racing night.

ineedahairtie · 12-14-2008, 01:19 AM

I farted while getting a blowjob from my ex on two different occasions.
Got a little poop on my dick from anal from two different chicks. I think that's pretty common, though, amirite?

Got a blowjob on a bus filled with old people coming back from Atlantic City.

Fucked an ex in a Burger King bathroom.

Also have almost wrecked while getting roadhead. Damn bitches..

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ineedahairtie

I farted while getting a blowjob

Hi there

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 01:56 AM

I've never done anything or had anything crazy happen during sex. Weird shit before that lead to me not having sex. Such as an ex pulling out a tub full of condoms and that just made her come off as a huge slut so I wasn't having it while she was trying to tell me it was just for laughs and the collection was nothing to worry about. I broke up with her two weeks later and the day after she got fucked by three mexicans. hmmm.

I've had a girl that's wanted me to punch her in the face during sex, I've had a girl that wanted to have sex on her period so she could bleed on me (wtf), and then some girl wanted me to choke her, and I did and it was pretty awesome. I'll think of some more small/weird things.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 01:59 AM

I had sex with my girlfriend in a tree stand. Twas uncomfortable.

And yeah...thats all I got :\

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 02:00 AM

tree stand?

SOR_Joop · 12-14-2008, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kill The Scene

I've never done anything or had anything crazy happen during sex. Weird shit before that lead to me not having sex. Such as an ex pulling out a tub full of condoms and that just made her come off as a huge slut so I wasn't having it while she was trying to tell me it was just for laughs and the collection was nothing to worry about. I broke up with her two weeks later and the day after she got fucked by three mexicans. hmmm.

I've had a girl that's wanted me to punch her in the face during sex, I've had a girl that wanted to have sex on her period so she could bleed on me (wtf), and then some girl wanted me to choke her, and I did and it was pretty awesome. I'll think of some more small/weird things.

I could write a book about all of the weird shit that's blocked my cock.

Also, should have punched her.

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOR_Joop

I could write a book about all of the weird shit that's blocked my cock.

Also, should have punched her.

No way. She was like 110lbs and wanted me to hit her as hard as I can. I'm a decent sized guy and I would have wrecked this bitches shit hard if I hit her. She just gets off on it I guess but there was nooooo way I was having that come back to haunt me. I don't need no jail time son.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kill The Scene

I'm a decent sized

....just decent?

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strychnine1349

....just decent?

in the body department im bigger/in better shape than most people in my weight class. in the pants department well... ;]

way under average.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 02:11 AM

Ahhhhhhh niggah please.....

You better be fucking nimble with dem hands and tongue

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:14 AM

I FUCKED A FUCKING SLUT ON HER BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS FUCKING SICK I LIED ABOUT CUMMING.

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature

I FUCKED A FUCKING SLUT ON HER BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS FUCKING SICK I LIED ABOUT CUMMING.

Dibs on this getting sigged.

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:17 AM

HAHA. IT IS A TRUE STORY THOUGH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY SHOES ON HAHA. ALSO, MY EX USED TO DIG BEING CHOKED, BUT COOLEST FUCKING THING. SHE WOULD SUCK MY DICK. WHILE ASLEEP. NO FUCKING JOKE.

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:22 AM

ALSO FIRST DUDE I EVEER FUCKED WE HAD NO LUBE SO I USED HIS CONDITIOONER, SHIT WAS FUCKING HAAAAARD.

SOR_Joop · 12-14-2008, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature

HAHA. IT IS A TRUE STORY THOUGH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY SHOES ON HAHA. ALSO, MY EX USED TO DIG BEING CHOKED, BUT COOLEST FUCKING THING. SHE WOULD SUCK MY DICK. WHILE ASLEEP. NO FUCKING JOKE.

She was sleeping or you were?

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOR_Joop

She was sleeping or you were?

SHE WAS DUUUUUURRRRRRRRR. OTHERWISE THAT'D BE A GAY AS SHIT STORY.

SOR_Joop · 12-14-2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature

ALSO FIRST DUDE I EVEER FUCKED WE HAD NO LUBE SO I USED HIS CONDITIOONER, SHIT WAS FUCKING HAAAAARD.

I once fucked this chick who asked me to type in all caps while we were going at it and I'm like "bitch you crazy."

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:24 AM

I LIKE YELLING WEHILE I'M DURNK.

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 02:24 AM

I lied about cumming once. She found out and was not pleased.

motherfuck · 12-14-2008, 02:40 AM

lawll

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 02:48 AM

L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 02:48 AM

BMV is online and has not posted in here yet.

POST YOU WHOOOORE

edit:lawl nvm

strychnine1349 · 12-14-2008, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus

L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

Penis inside vajay?

Kill The Scene · 12-14-2008, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus

L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

She was just someone I thought I wanted to bang and turns out her naked was just a whole different story so, when I was in her I just tried to fake that shit the best I could and I zipped up and bailed out asap.

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 02:51 AM

ahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKIN RETARD but if its a bad body that made you sick.....shouldve ran the second she got naked.

1349 is a weird stalking mother fucker

Of Divine Nature · 12-14-2008, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus

L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

she was drunk.

Blackmetal_virus · 12-14-2008, 02:53 AM

drunk is the best excuse so far....every other chick was a fuckin retard

12-14-2008, 12:19 AM	#1
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 17	ITT: Fucked up Sex Stories. You all(except shawn) have them. Go.

12-14-2008, 01:19 AM	#4
ineedahairtie Registered Loser Join Date: May 2008 Location: Earth, Milky Way Posts: 577 Rep Power: 6	I farted while getting a blowjob from my ex on two different occasions. Got a little poop on my dick from anal from two different chicks. I think that's pretty common, though, amirite? Got a blowjob on a bus filled with old people coming back from Atlantic City. Fucked an ex in a Burger King bathroom. Also have almost wrecked while getting roadhead. Damn bitches.. Last edited by ineedahairtie; 12-14-2008 at 01:23 AM..

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

12-14-2008, 01:12 AM	#2
SOR_Joop This place sucks. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: America's Roller Coast Posts: 19,171 Rep Power: 29	Not exactly a sex story, but I think it qualifies as fucked up. A couple years ago, I was kissing my girlfriend at the time and I straight up belched in her mouth. Good times.

12-14-2008, 01:16 AM	#3
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 17	Everyone remembers the blowjob/finger story. Though one night I was getting roadhead, and right at the climax I drove through a stop sign and slammed on the breaks, almost drove into a 8 foot ditch. During this Calculating Infinity was playing, a very very heart racing night.

12-14-2008, 01:56 AM	#6
Kill The Scene Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 26,169 Rep Power: 36	I've never done anything or had anything crazy happen during sex. Weird shit before that lead to me not having sex. Such as an ex pulling out a tub full of condoms and that just made her come off as a huge slut so I wasn't having it while she was trying to tell me it was just for laughs and the collection was nothing to worry about. I broke up with her two weeks later and the day after she got fucked by three mexicans. hmmm. I've had a girl that's wanted me to punch her in the face during sex, I've had a girl that wanted to have sex on her period so she could bleed on me (wtf), and then some girl wanted me to choke her, and I did and it was pretty awesome. I'll think of some more small/weird things.

12-14-2008, 01:59 AM	#7
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 17	I had sex with my girlfriend in a tree stand. Twas uncomfortable. And yeah...thats all I got :\

12-14-2008, 02:00 AM	#8
Kill The Scene Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 26,169 Rep Power: 36	tree stand?

12-14-2008, 02:11 AM	#13
strychnine1349 The Van Buren Boys Join Date: May 2006 Location: The 'Sau Posts: 10,875 Rep Power: 17	Ahhhhhhh niggah please..... You better be fucking nimble with dem hands and tongue

12-14-2008, 02:14 AM	#14
Of Divine Nature Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,865 Rep Power: 13	I FUCKED A FUCKING SLUT ON HER BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS FUCKING SICK I LIED ABOUT CUMMING.

12-14-2008, 02:17 AM	#16
Of Divine Nature Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,865 Rep Power: 13	HAHA. IT IS A TRUE STORY THOUGH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY SHOES ON HAHA. ALSO, MY EX USED TO DIG BEING CHOKED, BUT COOLEST FUCKING THING. SHE WOULD SUCK MY DICK. WHILE ASLEEP. NO FUCKING JOKE.

12-14-2008, 02:22 AM	#17
Of Divine Nature Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,865 Rep Power: 13	ALSO FIRST DUDE I EVEER FUCKED WE HAD NO LUBE SO I USED HIS CONDITIOONER, SHIT WAS FUCKING HAAAAARD.

12-14-2008, 02:24 AM	#21
Of Divine Nature Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,865 Rep Power: 13	I LIKE YELLING WEHILE I'M DURNK.

12-14-2008, 02:40 AM	#23
motherfuck you Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: 408 nigga Posts: 2,912 Rep Power: 0	lawll

12-14-2008, 02:48 AM	#24
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	L O fuckin L how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

12-14-2008, 02:51 AM	#28
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	ahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKIN RETARD but if its a bad body that made you sick.....shouldve ran the second she got naked. 1349 is a weird stalking mother fucker

12-14-2008, 02:53 AM	#30
Blackmetal_virus Impaling Shaft Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In the Cemetary of Chicago Posts: 8,045 Rep Power: 18	drunk is the best excuse so far....every other chick was a fuckin retard