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Old 07-14-2008, 10:39 AM   #31
stark17
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I'd relive my first blowjob experience over my first sexual experience with a condom anyday.
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Old 07-14-2008, 11:16 AM   #32
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do u get it???? itz cuz if u did that ud look moar lik a gurl than u do now!!111!!! lolzzzz
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Did it involve your trumpet?
No, just my pork sword. We did it outside in a little hallway in front of one of the dorms.
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Old 07-14-2008, 11:19 AM   #33
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I was 15.... I'd been with my boyfriend for 3 months and basically right from the start he kept asking if we could. He was three years older than me, and had only slept with somebody once before whilst half asleep.

It was one of the worst experiences ever. I actually prayed that if it wasn't supposed to be don't let it happen, and couldn't walk properly for ages afterwards.

It took 6 months to stop being painful and the guy was an idiot.
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Old 07-14-2008, 12:25 PM   #34
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when i was 18, second week of college. it was some girl i just met that night and we were both extremely wasted so it ended up lasting a long time and i couldn't even finish.
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I'd let her slither my cock and then fuck her earlobe
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:23 PM   #35
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when i was 17...I skipped 4th period (right before lunch) and went to the Marlo right next to my school and fucked this girl in the bathroom. After we went to lunch and had one hell of a story to tell the others, lol
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:25 PM   #36
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Having sex lost me virginity
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Shut the fuck up before I kill you and wear your cunt as a hat, whore.
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:42 PM   #37
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I was 14 at the time with a 16 year old girlfriend. I put it in and it lasted maybe 2 minutes, she said it hurt to much and we had to stop. after she left I jerked off and then broke up with her the next day.
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:55 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ergo_Sum View Post
I was 15.... I'd been with my boyfriend for 3 months and basically right from the start he kept asking if we could. He was three years older than me, and had only slept with somebody once before whilst half asleep.

It was one of the worst experiences ever. I actually prayed that if it wasn't supposed to be don't let it happen, and couldn't walk properly for ages afterwards.

It took 6 months to stop being painful and the guy was an idiot.
Damn what a skeez. Knowing you were a virgin he should've at least ate your shit out first to ease viscosive tensions, ah well.
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Old 07-14-2008, 03:30 PM   #39
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Quote:
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Damn what a skeez. Knowing you were a virgin he should've at least ate your shit out first to ease viscosive tensions, ah well.
Yeah well he put me off of sex for a very long time. I was so young and impressionable. I still see him about but even though there's no bitterness between us he can't look at me anymore.

He's tried getting back with me several times since, but I would have to be an idiot. And I'm pretty sure one of the reasons is because his mum still tells him that I was the best thing he ever had. I still get on with her- better now I'm not with him, the friendship isn't quite so creepy.
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Old 07-14-2008, 03:35 PM   #40
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Also now you've gotten me remembering- he was selfish, not good looking at all, and didn't really speak to me much either.

We were together for a year but after so long with so little verbal communication my brain kind of frazzled and I became really moody and insecure so he dumped me. And then kept tricking me into a physical relationship with him until Sam saved me.

I still remember my 17th birthday at a local pub where they both argued about who was going to walk me home because neither one trusted the other.

I made them walk together, whilst I walked about 30 feet behind them.
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Old 07-14-2008, 03:39 PM   #41
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you look like emma watson in your avatar.
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my holes are healed.
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I agree completely, Shawn.
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Shawn - really smart, you wouldn't think he's as young as he is. and a really understanding dude. great guy.
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good news im not killing myself anymore yaaaayy
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Originally Posted by prayerforazazelandme
Period blood barely even smells at all, and usually amongst all the other smells and tastes that goes along with munching on muff, it is hardly a factor. I guess the amount of blood, smell, and uterus chunks really depends on the girl, and in my experience, has never been unmanageable.
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Old 07-14-2008, 03:43 PM   #42
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you look like emma watson in your avatar.
I've been told that more than once. I've also been told that I sound like her (accent).


Mayb is why I have a thing for Rupert Grint.
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Old 07-14-2008, 04:00 PM   #43
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I've always thought you looked somewhat like her. But not as much as you do in your sig.


Also; fag.
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my holes are healed.
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Originally Posted by Obswalq;
I agree completely, Shawn.
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Shawn - really smart, you wouldn't think he's as young as he is. and a really understanding dude. great guy.
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good news im not killing myself anymore yaaaayy
Quote:
Originally Posted by prayerforazazelandme
Period blood barely even smells at all, and usually amongst all the other smells and tastes that goes along with munching on muff, it is hardly a factor. I guess the amount of blood, smell, and uterus chunks really depends on the girl, and in my experience, has never been unmanageable.
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Old 07-14-2008, 04:06 PM   #44
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Quote:
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I've always thought you looked somewhat like her. But not as much as you do in your sig.


Also; fag.
Mmmm I always remembering seeing the advert for when the film was first getting together and thinknig- I could play that role. They're obviously going to choose a girl who looks the part, talent is merely a bonus. There probably wont even be anybody with talent audition.


And sorry, can't help it. He's a bit young at only a day older than me, but I still think he's really good looking and cute as fuck.
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Old 07-14-2008, 05:03 PM   #45
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I uhhhh.......................;_;
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Old 07-14-2008, 05:03 PM   #46
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C'mon now...would you rather have this:







Or this?:








The decision is quite obvious.
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:30 PM   #47
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when i was 15 with a chick i had been dating for about 9 months. it was fuckin' awesome.
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when i went to blow the mixture of being nervous and being slightly drunk was enough to cause me to suck instead of blow.
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:51 PM   #48
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What the fuck, I'm 18 and still a virgin. Dammit.
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:54 PM   #49
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i'm 21 STFU
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Old 07-14-2008, 07:52 PM   #50
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i'm 21 STFU
three words:
warm shit butter
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Old 07-14-2008, 08:45 PM   #51
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three words:
warm shit butter
I just bursted in laugher.
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Old 07-14-2008, 09:27 PM   #52
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I lost it to my hot photography teacher in high school
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Old 07-14-2008, 09:35 PM   #53
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Well, I was beating my cock to Club Seventeen.com when my mom walked in.

I was shocked at first, but then she took of my pants sucked my dick for 4 to 5 minutes the she hopped on my lap and let me bust a nut in her pussy.
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Old 07-14-2008, 10:38 PM   #54
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Marlon, your band logo is fucking sick.
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Old 07-14-2008, 10:40 PM   #55
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I lost it to my hot photography teacher in high school
my photography teacher in 8th grade was pretty damn hot.
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Old 07-14-2008, 10:40 PM   #56
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(When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.

I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.

Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.

She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I **** love women.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my **** out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.

Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.

I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.

I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.

Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHIT!". It was one of those moments.

The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.

I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.

Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.)
If this is true, my man, I salute the shit out of you. Hahahahahah
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Old 07-14-2008, 11:45 PM   #57
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When I was seventeen my parents left for London, a trip that would captivate them for two weeks. It was mid-winter, and my virgin girlfriend of 3 months was lying stark naked atop my blue down comforter. The lissome curves of her supple body were ornamented by the soft lines of the sheets. She was 17 years old, and in the brevity of that immortal moment the world was timeless.

The soft melody of Astral Weeks warmed even the coldest of corners in my candle-lit room. Her long brown hair slid fluidly across the pillow tops and rested warm on her shoulders. Her eyes crossed mine and remained steadfast as she whispered . . . "I want this."

My heart palpitated with impatience, but my hand was steady and she pulled me on top of her. She was warm, the kind of warm that can only radiate from the frailty of virgin nerves and desire. I slid my fingers through her silk hair and kissed her neck as I retired my V-card from its tireless stint. She clenched me hard as to communicate a discomfort, but thrusted her pelvis into mine in approval. I brushed a tear from her eye and she smiled as she confided, "I could not have dreamed of any other way." Suddenly the ambiguity of her tears vanished with the shimmer of her accepting blue eyes. I felt her pain in the way she grasped my shoulder-blades, but her soft penetrating voice reassured me of her comfortable acceptance.

The fierce cold, held at bay by the frosted window at my bed's side, shunted and splintered the window's weak frame, but could not fight the spectating droplets of condensation. She didn't cum at first, but some things are better cherished than the ephemeral fruition of a disposable pleasure. What was shared between us that night will transcend the vacant significance of any single orgasm, though many were had. That night is one I will not likely forget.





. . . . . then I accidentally shit on her chest and she spent the rest of the night crying in the bathroom.
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:03 AM   #58
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ahahaha
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:10 AM   #59
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I cannot think of a possible position you could be in life where you can "accidentally" shit on someones chest, but I know I want to be in one of them.
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:11 AM   #60
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Oh btw
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...=Google+Search
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