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-   -   ITT: Fucked up Sex Stories. (http://forums.smnnews.com/showthread.php?t=197665)

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 12:19 AM

ITT: Fucked up Sex Stories.
 
You all(except shawn) have them.

Go.

SOR_Joop 12-14-2008 01:12 AM

Not exactly a sex story, but I think it qualifies as fucked up. A couple years ago, I was kissing my girlfriend at the time and I straight up belched in her mouth. Good times.

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 01:16 AM

Everyone remembers the blowjob/finger story.



Though one night I was getting roadhead, and right at the climax I drove through a stop sign and slammed on the breaks, almost drove into a 8 foot ditch.

During this Calculating Infinity was playing, a very very heart racing night.

ineedahairtie 12-14-2008 01:19 AM

I farted while getting a blowjob from my ex on two different occasions.
Got a little poop on my dick from anal from two different chicks. I think that's pretty common, though, amirite?

Got a blowjob on a bus filled with old people coming back from Atlantic City.

Fucked an ex in a Burger King bathroom.

Also have almost wrecked while getting roadhead. Damn bitches..

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ineedahairtie (Post 3061402)
I farted while getting a blowjob



Hi there :emot-nod:

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 01:56 AM

I've never done anything or had anything crazy happen during sex. Weird shit before that lead to me not having sex. Such as an ex pulling out a tub full of condoms and that just made her come off as a huge slut so I wasn't having it while she was trying to tell me it was just for laughs and the collection was nothing to worry about. I broke up with her two weeks later and the day after she got fucked by three mexicans. hmmm.


I've had a girl that's wanted me to punch her in the face during sex, I've had a girl that wanted to have sex on her period so she could bleed on me (wtf), and then some girl wanted me to choke her, and I did and it was pretty awesome. I'll think of some more small/weird things.

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 01:59 AM

I had sex with my girlfriend in a tree stand. Twas uncomfortable.

And yeah...thats all I got :\

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 02:00 AM

tree stand?

SOR_Joop 12-14-2008 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kill The Scene (Post 3061435)
I've never done anything or had anything crazy happen during sex. Weird shit before that lead to me not having sex. Such as an ex pulling out a tub full of condoms and that just made her come off as a huge slut so I wasn't having it while she was trying to tell me it was just for laughs and the collection was nothing to worry about. I broke up with her two weeks later and the day after she got fucked by three mexicans. hmmm.


I've had a girl that's wanted me to punch her in the face during sex, I've had a girl that wanted to have sex on her period so she could bleed on me (wtf), and then some girl wanted me to choke her, and I did and it was pretty awesome. I'll think of some more small/weird things.

I could write a book about all of the weird shit that's blocked my cock.

Also, should have punched her.

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOR_Joop (Post 3061443)
I could write a book about all of the weird shit that's blocked my cock.

Also, should have punched her.

No way. She was like 110lbs and wanted me to hit her as hard as I can. I'm a decent sized guy and I would have wrecked this bitches shit hard if I hit her. She just gets off on it I guess but there was nooooo way I was having that come back to haunt me. I don't need no jail time son.

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kill The Scene (Post 3061448)
I'm a decent sized



....just decent?

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strychnine1349 (Post 3061454)
....just decent?

in the body department im bigger/in better shape than most people in my weight class. in the pants department well... ;]































way under average. :emot-fail

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 02:11 AM

Ahhhhhhh niggah please.....

You better be fucking nimble with dem hands and tongue

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:14 AM

I FUCKED A FUCKING SLUT ON HER BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS FUCKING SICK I LIED ABOUT CUMMING.

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature (Post 3061461)
I FUCKED A FUCKING SLUT ON HER BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS FUCKING SICK I LIED ABOUT CUMMING.

Dibs on this getting sigged.

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:17 AM

HAHA. IT IS A TRUE STORY THOUGH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY SHOES ON HAHA. ALSO, MY EX USED TO DIG BEING CHOKED, BUT COOLEST FUCKING THING. SHE WOULD SUCK MY DICK. WHILE ASLEEP. NO FUCKING JOKE.

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:22 AM

ALSO FIRST DUDE I EVEER FUCKED WE HAD NO LUBE SO I USED HIS CONDITIOONER, SHIT WAS FUCKING HAAAAARD.

SOR_Joop 12-14-2008 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature (Post 3061465)
HAHA. IT IS A TRUE STORY THOUGH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY SHOES ON HAHA. ALSO, MY EX USED TO DIG BEING CHOKED, BUT COOLEST FUCKING THING. SHE WOULD SUCK MY DICK. WHILE ASLEEP. NO FUCKING JOKE.

She was sleeping or you were?

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOR_Joop (Post 3061476)
She was sleeping or you were?

SHE WAS DUUUUUURRRRRRRRR. OTHERWISE THAT'D BE A GAY AS SHIT STORY.

SOR_Joop 12-14-2008 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Of Divine Nature (Post 3061475)
ALSO FIRST DUDE I EVEER FUCKED WE HAD NO LUBE SO I USED HIS CONDITIOONER, SHIT WAS FUCKING HAAAAARD.

I once fucked this chick who asked me to type in all caps while we were going at it and I'm like "bitch you crazy."

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:24 AM

I LIKE YELLING WEHILE I'M DURNK.

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 02:24 AM

I lied about cumming once. She found out and was not pleased.

motherfuck 12-14-2008 02:40 AM

lawll

Blackmetal_virus 12-14-2008 02:48 AM

L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 02:48 AM

BMV is online and has not posted in here yet.


POST YOU WHOOOORE



edit:lawl nvm

strychnine1349 12-14-2008 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus (Post 3061499)
L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

Penis inside vajay?

Kill The Scene 12-14-2008 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus (Post 3061499)
L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

She was just someone I thought I wanted to bang and turns out her naked was just a whole different story so, when I was in her I just tried to fake that shit the best I could and I zipped up and bailed out asap.

Blackmetal_virus 12-14-2008 02:51 AM

ahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKIN RETARD but if its a bad body that made you sick.....shouldve ran the second she got naked.

1349 is a weird stalking mother fucker

Of Divine Nature 12-14-2008 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackmetal_virus (Post 3061499)
L O fuckin L

how the fuck do you guys lie about cumming? i mean she hears you say it and then waits for it.......you spit on them while theyre not lookin?????

she was drunk.

Blackmetal_virus 12-14-2008 02:53 AM

drunk is the best excuse so far....every other chick was a fuckin retard


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